This Sucks - MS 101

A place to vent -- both the good and bad -- in coping with this life altering disease.

Saturday, August 27, 2005

HI YA ....

(8/26/04)Hey I have arived at home(Camden CO. NC.) we got here Monday(8/22/04) im so happy to be home I love it here! The kids are great. I missed them so much. Mom and Jess left yesterday and got home late last night. I missed mom already. I don’t know what im going to do without her. Think positive right?
I am writing this at home on my laptop ill post it tomorrow when im at nana’s. I don’t even know how many people look at this but I figured I best post just incase some one looks at my site (lol) I miss my online friends so much I love you guys yall just don’t know!! Well take care....... ill post more later on.....

Monday, August 22, 2005

IM HOME!!

HEY I MADE IT HOME!! PLAYED WITH THE KIDS WHO ARE SO CUTE AND PERFICT... TALKED TO KELLY HAD DINNER WITH NANA AND MOM IM SO TIERD BEEN ASLEEP SENCE 330 AM!! CRAZY WELL ILL TTYL B

Saturday, August 20, 2005

ok here we go!

OK IM GOING TO LEAVE ON MONDAY... :( IM SO HAPPY TO GO HOME!! BUT IM GOING TO MISS MOM. I AM USED TO BEING HERE(MOMS) SO IT WILL TAKE ME A LITTLEWHILE TO GET USED TO THE SWING OF THINGS BACK AT HOME BUT I THINK I WILL GET IT... ILL BE COMING BACK UP HERE EVERY 3 MO FOR MY NAVANTRONE TRETMENT. BUT I DONT HAVE INTERNET AT HOME SO ILL STILL BE POSTING FOR THOSE WHO READ IF ANYONE READS LOL BUT ONLY WHEN I CAN LIKE WHEN I GO TO NANAS OR SOMTHING.

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

OH WEDNESDAY....

OH MY GOD... ITS SO HARD TO BLEVIE THAT ILL BE HOME IN AFEW DAYS. CRAZY BUT I DONT KNOW IF I WANNA STAY HOME. I THINK ILL TRY IT FOR 1 MOUNTH IF I WANNA COME BACK THEN I WILL. ITS SO SCARRY ILL BE THERE NO MOM TO LEARB ON ITS SCARRY I HATE IT BUT IM A BIG GIRL!!! AND IT IS NOT AT ALL THAT I DONT WANT TO SEE MY "FAMILY" IN NC I DONT KNOW I FEEL LIKE THE DAYS KEEP COMING AND GOIG SO DAMN FAST. I MISS MY BEST FRIENDS KIDS THE MOST I LOVE THE REST OF EM I JUST FEEL LIKE IVE MESSED SO MUCH YA KNOW ....

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

TUESDAY.....

HI GUYS..... HOW GOES IT? IM OK I GUESS, IM SAD A LITTLE TIERD BUT OVER ALL IM OK... I WANT TO GO HOME ITS JUST SO WORRIED THAT ILL GET THERE AND WANNA COME BACK TO MOM UGH OH WELL... I GUESS ILL JUST HAVE TO SEE. I HAVE TO GO SEE MY "FAMILY" I MISS THE GOD KIDS THE MOST... WELL I NEED TO GET MOVING

Sunday, August 14, 2005

sunday....

hello, its sad u know it sad that i just woke up and im still sleepy. ugh .i am still trying to get used to my new glasses (bifocals :( ) there ok untill i try to go up or down steps then its kinda funky... i have noticed that i can read better. lol. next week mon. (the 22) im sposto be going hom,e untill my next navantrone treatment. i wanna go i just dont wanna be away from mom we will see i guess. hopefully it will be just fine im also dreading it being so damn hot yucky hot.... ive told mom that she spoling me being up here it gets warm but on most days when they say it will be 90 its 90 not 90 and feels like 110 cuz at home the damn humity is nuts 100% humity like all the time im dreading that part...

Thursday, August 11, 2005

HI SORRY I HAVENT BEEN KEEPING UP LIKE I SHOULD IVE JUST BEEN VEGING FEELING LIKE SHIT . IN MY OWN WORLD GOT TO GO TOMARROW TO GET MY NEW GLASSES LOL WHAT JOY I DONT WANNA EAT EVERY TIME I EAT IT MAKS ME FEEL WORSE SO IM NOT EATTING LIKE I SHOULD. MOMS DOWN MY BACK ABOUT THAT UGH OH WELL I TELL HER "YOU GO HAVE CHEMO AND THEN TELL ME IF U WANNA EAT " LOL WELL I JUST WANTED TO KEEP ALL YALL WHO EVER POSTED LOL.

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

OK I GOT THE NAVANTRONE AND NOW I FEEL LIKE SHIT! GOOD THING I HAVENT THROWN UP! FEEL LIKE I HAVE TO BUT HAVENT I HATE THIS FEELING I FEEL LIKE AS IF I HAVE A BAD COLD. THE NAVANTRONE WAS A LITTLE BAG OF BLUE(LOOKED LIKE BLUE FOOD COLORING) MED. THE NURCE WAS VERY NICE MOM WAS THERE AND WHEN WE WENT IN I WAS TALKING AND FELT EXCITED THAT IT WAS FINNALLY HERE 1/2 WAY THREW THE BAG I GOT A HEAD ACHE AND STARTED TO FEEL BLAH STOPPED TALKING SO MUCH NOW I STILL FEEL YUCKY BUT IM GLAD THAT IM HOME.. I STILL FEEL SICK BUT IM HOME AND ITS OVER WITH. IM PEEING GREEN! LOL I THOUGHT THAT WAS COOL AND THE WHITES OF MY EYES MIGHT TURN BLUEISH GREEN COLLOR. WELL IM GOING TO LAY DOWN

Sunday, August 07, 2005

OK ONE MORE DAY. TODAY . TOMARROWS THE DAY. IM TRYING SO HARD TO NOT THINK ABOUT IT. TRYING HARD BUT JUST SITTIN HERE BORED OUT OF MY MIND THATS ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT IS HOW THE NAVANTRONE GOING TO LIKE MY BODY OR NO BETTER YET HOWS MY BODY GOING TO LIKE THE NAVANTRONE.UGH. ONE MORE DAY YOU KNOW I REMEMBERED SOMTHING YESTERDAY WELL LAST NIGHT TOMARROW( AUG 8TH) IS 1YR SENCE THE LAST TIME THEY AMMITED ME INTO THE HOS. AFTER THAT THEY GAVE ME IV STAROIDS OUTPATICENT SO MANY TIMES HAD TO LEAVE THE IV IN CUZ IM A HARD STICK SO ID COME HOME WITH THE IV STILL .... SO TODAY AFTER JESS GETS HOME WE ARE GOING SOMEWHERE. SHE CANT COME WITH ME TOMARROW SHE HAS TO WORK AT 5 AND THERE IS NO GARANTEE WE WILL BE HOME BY THEN. SO ME AND HER ARE GOING OUT. PROB FOR ICE CREAM OR SOMTHING.BUT IT LEAST ILL GET OUT OF THE HOUSE. GET MY MIND OFF OF IT MAYBE FOR A LITTLE WHILE ILL WRITE MORE PROB. TUES DEPENDS ON HOW I FEEL. TAKE CARE!

Saturday, August 06, 2005

SATURDAYS SUCK!

OK ITS SATURDAY AND NOTHING TO DO LIKE ALWAYS... GOT MONDAY WAYING ON MY MIND IM TRYING NOT TO "LET" IT BOTHER ME . BUT WHAT NOONE SEEMS TO REALIZE IS EVEN THO IF I DONT ACT LIKE IM THINKING ABOUT IT I AM IM SCARRED I DONT KNOW WHAT TO EXPECT AND ITS SCARY! DAMN I WANT IT TO JUST BE DONE IT'S SAD BUT IM STILL KINDA WAITING TO WAKE UP AND FIND THAT THE LAST YR AWS JUST A REALLY BAD DEAM. BUT I KNOW IT WONT HAPPEN. OH WELL

Friday, August 05, 2005

:( another sad lonely weekend approches!

as i set here and await the wekend i also have thoughts of what monday will bring. im really scared. i guess its the uncertninty of the whole navantrone thing..... my best friends daughter's 2end birthday is monday (the 8th) im sad that im going to miss that but happy that maybe, hopefully, no fuck that WILL BE going home on the 22end. i miss home so much im trying to get home asap! but i also realize i need to take care of myself 1st. its sad but i know its true!

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

EYE DOCTOR DAY

I WENT TO THE EYE DOC TODAY MY EYES HAVE GOTTEN A LITTLE WORSE IN THE PAST YR. WHAT HASNT GOTTEN WORSE IN THE PAST YR. BUT I NEED BIFOCALS :( IT SUCKS! IM SO SAD CUZ IM ONLY 20 YR OLD AND HAVE TO HAVE BIFOCALS...IT MAKES ME SO SAD...JUST THOUGHT ID SHARE MY LOVELY DAY AT THE EYE DOCTOR. UGH!!! TAKE CARE

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

got the phone call..........

ok the doctor called and im to start navantrone on monday aug 8th(god daughters 2end bday) im glad that we finnally got the show on the road but im also very scared not noing what to expect.. just dont know. i so wanna go home i feel so bad cux im not there and i know that the sooner i get the navantrine the sooner i go home...

Monday, August 01, 2005

DAMN DOCTORS OFFICE....

WELL I WAITED TILL 5 BEFORE I POSTED TODAY BECAUSE WE(MOM LOL) CALLED THE DOCTORS OFFICE THIS MORNING ABOUT THE NAVANTRONE TREATMENT AND YUP U GUESSED IT SHE WAS TOLD THAT THEYD CALL BACK AND NOTHING UGHHHH IM PISSED ABOUT THAT! WHATS THE DEAL Y CANT THEY JUST CALL W T F IS THE PROB HOW HARD IS IT TO PICK UP A PHONE? I WANNA BE ABLE TO GO HOME AT THE END OF AUG FOR A LITTLE WHILE UGH! MY BACK HURTS LIKE CRAZY AND IM MAD! GOOD THING THO MOM HAS GOTTEN ME A LAPTOP JUST LIKE JESSIES LAPTOP CAME TONIGHT ITS 4 MY BIRTHDAY 9/27 YEA EARLY BUT I LOVE IT NOW I DONT HAVE TO SIT IN THE CHAIR THAT MAKES MY BACK WORSE. LOL SO I LOVE IT! ITS GOT TO CHARGE THO SO IN THE F'ING CHAIR I GO FOR ONE MORE NIGHT!