This Sucks - MS 101

A place to vent -- both the good and bad -- in coping with this life altering disease.

Saturday, October 15, 2005

10 /12 threw 10 /16 2005

(10/16?/05) OK guys I leave "home" next sat. to get the next treatment of nav. Ugh .... so im sry that my post have been really down lately.... but thats me I guess.... I go back and re read em b4 I post em and it takes a lot for me not to delete it and write something happy and post that so people don’t think im nuts... or anything.... while take care

I think it’s the 12 th lol... ok. Its like 2:30 in the afternoon and im sitting here outside
Hollie’s therapy typing to my blog... lol what a sad ass life so sad guys... I don’t know if I can bounce back and forth its killing me mentally im so sad that I have to leave that im trying to not be but I am being a bitch to those who I love and want to be home with.... im so sad!! Ugh I hate this I hate having to bounce like as soon as I get used to being home I have to bounce back to moms.. I love it here.... I wanna be home!!! but!!!! I know that I want my mom there when I get these treatments so im split!!! I also feel like my "best" friend like don’t know what to say to me any more.. Makes me crazy living in a house with her and having her just not talk cuz she’s scared I guess... I wrote her a letter well email she hasn’t looked at it yet tho that’s the best way for me to talk is threw writing (if you haven’t noticed) her to she "talks" deep shit better threw writing it out.... its hard tho she’s busy all day everyday with Hollie and Andrew.... were she should be hopefully its just me thinking that she’s not wanting to talk to me I guess I don’t know...oh well it would kill me to have to let this friendship go cuz the ms is to much for her....I would die for real then I would leave and stay at moms...... maybe I sould ask her? I don’t think im depending on her for anything to do with my ms besides money for food but sometimes I buys them dinner like with my b day $ I wanted kfc so I got the whole family kfc.... hopefully im blowing it way, way out of portion my mom thinks I need an anitdepresent... what cha think ?