This Sucks - MS 101

A place to vent -- both the good and bad -- in coping with this life altering disease.

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

just letting yall know i got home ok we left mon morning at 230 300 am .... got here in nc at 8 am and busted up in kellys room and hollie was like boucing all around with a big amile lol so ... so far so good.... ttyl

Sunday, November 27, 2005

OK IM LEAVING AGAIN...

OK HUYS IM LEAVING AGAIN BUT ILL BE BACK AND YOU KNOW HOW IT WILL BE ILL BE POSTING STILL .. TAKE CARE ALL YALL BE SAFE... TAKE CARE "B"

Saturday, November 26, 2005

me in my halloween outfit!!!

ok ok pACKING SUCKS ASS.. IT HAS TAKEN ME SENCE LAST NIGHT AND IM STILL NOT oh well im so DONE.. UGH!!! nd im exasted... im s i recomeneeao pumbed to go home.. i miss the kids .. kelly and jon adn dad im ready to just show them my f. it attutude the yes i have to reast and take it easy but im gonna have a good drama free time!!! lol ugh oh i recomed evbery body to read blindsided bye richard cohen.... its o good book i finshed listing to it on cd last night im listing to "speed bumbs" bye terri garr i have a feeling that ill like richareds book better, i think i can relate better.. mom says i have it as bad as he does and he has had it for 33 yr he has a great attude... anyways.... tc guys....

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

11/23/04

HAPPY T - DAY.......

HAPPY T DAY GUYS.. HOPE YOU ALL HAVE A GREAT ONE AND EAT TONZ ITS A SLEARGE DAY... I LOVE SPLEARGE DAYS.... WELL TAKE CARE I AHEV HAD LONG COUPLE DAYS,, SO IM TIERD... AND ILL AHVE A LONGER ONE TOMARROW.. SO I HOPE AND WISH EVERYONE A GREAT, SAFE, ENJOYFUL.. FAMILY FILLED TURKEY DAY... :)

Monday, November 21, 2005

a poem.....

ok this is the 1st time I tried to wirte in a while so here we go...
11/21/05
I will not be held by this beast anymore...
It will just have to walk out the door....
I have chossen to let it run its fucked up course....
And become the known ms sourse...
It’s hard to go about day by day...
Knowing that MS might deside to take that it all away...
But I have come to except...
Life must move on as I wept.....
So as I say goodbye...
And only sometime’s ask the word why...
I reach out...
To other ms’ers in doubt
To realize it ain’t you..
Just something that you happen to be going threw..
It is sad
you have every right to be mad..
Cry scream and fight
just know at the end there’s a big light..
And when you find it...
It seem’s like "MS What is THIS SHIT"......
You live your life for you
and it seems like the whole world is lifted off your shoulders .whew...
Life can be about you again...
And let ms run around in your head but in a pen...
We shall all over come...ha it thought it has us...
Ms I thought I just saw that get run over by a bus....

Sunday, November 20, 2005

IMPUT.....

HELLO OK HOWS THE CHAGE LIKE IT?? I DO I THINK HUMM I GUESS WE WILL SEE... HA.. IPUT PLEASE

Saturday, November 19, 2005

a new day

a new day im going to try to be more + about my life with everything.. lol ill prob come here and bitch still but im going to try to be more positive like mom says i sould ... anyone see larry king live last night?/ it had mariedeth verria and her hubby and a country singer clay something and terri garr and a r and b singer wih ms and a ms doc. and they were all + so ima try to be....think itll work?
i hope so ... im sick and tierd of being sick and tierd ya know??

Friday, November 18, 2005

oh.. fridays...lol

ok im toerd and feel a lil better but im still tierd... i havent been doing anything really chill around the house online and relaxin all day trying to make my self eat.... it so sucks as to have to brib your self to eat omg... well im am gonna talk to my best friend and seee if she would mind me posting pics of the kids.. and of lil things and people at my patry .... cuz she is in the pics so is another good friend so i guess i gotta talk to em b4 i put em up i dont even knoe if i can post more than one pic on here anyone know?

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

LALALA A LITTLE VENTING ABOUT WATCH...

OK HERE WE GO... IM KINDA FEEL WEIERD ABOUT THIS POST BUT IMMA POST ANYWAYS... OK I FEEL HURT BY SOME OF THOSE IN CHAT YES I WAS DOWN TONIGHT BUT I JUST HAD CHEMO IM AWAY FROM HOME AND MY FRIENDS NO BOY FRIEND OR ANYONE I FEEL LIKE IM ALL ALONE I KNOW I HAVE MY MOM AND YES I THANK GOD FOR THAT BUT UGHHH I THOUGHT IT WS A PLACE FOR PEOPLE TO GO AND VENT AND SHIT AND BETHERE FOR OTHERS INSTED IG OT SOMEONE WHOS OLDER THEN MY GRANDMA TELLING ME IM BEING TO DOWN... HA SHE GOT TO LIVE HER LIKE SHE HAS HAD MS 22 YR. SO THAT MAKES HER 40 SOMETHING DANG THAT MAKES HER OLDER THAN MY MOM WHEN SHE WAS DX.. BUT I CANT BE DOWN..UGH!!!!!!!

11/15/05

ok... i just thoght id pop in to let yall know the chemo went as well as to be expected... i feel like shit and im going to go back to lay down....

Sunday, November 13, 2005

hey ok are yall ready to step int the mind of a 21 yrold ms patient who has to take chemo to marrow... ok here we go:

guys what am i gonna do ? i so want someone to talk to about how i feel with all this ms stuff and chemo im scared !!! but noone is there mom and jess are at work nana is on the phone so its busy... bills down stairs sick so he can stay there and all my friends are in nc and im sitting here about to flip the f. out.... all alone.... i feel like i have to deal with this today all alone.... help me?? im all shaking and really upset by this and i dont undeerstand quite y . i mean yea its alot ut im soposto be able stroung enough to handle this... ugh....

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

ok..

ok no treatment mom got sick had to go the er last night left at 830 pm dint get home till 5 am she has a cyst on her oveiry (sp really bad) today she went to get the ultrasound fri she see the doc. i hope everything goes ok but i flipped out she threw a big ass ring in my plan.. i hate it oh how i hate to mess up my plan... so mom resegualed it for monday...so we are gonna go threw the whole spill about the tretment again... god... i hate ms i really do..

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

hello well tomarrow ill get my 2end novantrone treatment.. yay... and im scard shitless... i hate it!!!! i dont want it i wanna run as fast and as far away as i can but like mom said no matter were i go the ms will follow.... :"( so i wish there was it least one damn place that i could hide and cry away from "ms" ugh guys how am i gonna dea with this for the rest of my life??? god i dont know if i can guys.. i really dont know .. i feel like im letting ms win the game the game of my life.. i cant do that i can never do that.... ugh fustration...

Monday, November 07, 2005

UGH!!!!!

OK TODAY IS IM GOING TO THE OBGYN.....1ST PAP....IM FLIPPING OUT ..... HELP ME...I DONT GET IT I DONT UNDERSTAND Y I OBSES ABOUT STUPID SHIT... IM SO STRESSED ABOUT THIS IM SHAKING...UGH!!!! I HATE THIS OMG.... MY HEAD HURTS... OK GOTTA CALM DOWN BREATH.... IN THREW THE NOSE OUT THREW THE MOUTH ....

Friday, November 04, 2005

here we go..

HEY ALL IM GETTING SETLED DOWN TRYING TO CHILL OUT AND GET READY TO BE SICKERR THAN SNOT.. CANT YOU TELL IM SO LOOKING FOWARD TO THIS TREATMENT LOL.... I AM IN WAYS JUST DONT WANT THE NASTY SIDE EFECTS.... WELL WE WILL SEE RIGHT?? AND IM VERY TIERD .. ALWAYS... AND I CANT THINK RIGHT MY HEAD ALWAYS HURT AND I CANT CONCENTRATE ON ANYTHING FOR MORE THAN LIKE 3 MIN. SO THERES THE UPDATE ON MY LIFE IM SCARED OF THE TREATMENT AND I CANT THINK LOL WHAT A COMBO..